On the 29th December I visited my old high school friend class of ’12 who since we parted was studying in the states. My friend whom I knew back in high school was a he, and now he has become a she. I’ve always known that my friend has felt he’s possessed a girl’s soul trapped in a guy’s body. It’s been three years since we’ve met and it’s my final year of university. I booked the flights just before first term started.
I was feeling nervous and anxious as I felt as though I was going to meet a completely new person. Also the fact that I have changed a lot in terms of my beliefs and values, feeling as though I’m part of another dimension.
To be honest, I felt that I was not very clear to my dear friend of everything I thought and believed… I don’t know if it is something that I should have raised either… though I think it should have been.
Reason why in my heart I feel very conflicted and feel this is a big deal is that I have given my life to God and have accepted Jesus in my heart. The bible, God’s word clearly says that marriage is meant for a man and woman. Marriage includes the consummation between man and woman – yes that’s sex. It’s very clear God did not intend marriage or sex to be between same genders. I have struggled with this idea for a while as I do have relatives and friends whom I care about that I find it difficult to share what I feel about this.
Though I have come to question myself that is this really important? To me not really, but to my friends and family, they identify themselves very much so with their sexuality. Of course this is normal as growing up their families have been against any other sexuality than heterosexuality. I understand how this would impact them and it saddens me to see that they have gone through that struggle to accept this part of themselves. My Aunt unfortunately had to go through the struggle of body image and back when she was a teen bulimia.
What I mean by I don’t think it’s important (I should specify) is I don’t feel that it’s important to just randomly say that I don’t accept their choices (not their inclinations as everyone has the inclination to lust) of dating or having sex or marriage. Or that it is something that I should ‘comment’ or ‘attack’ just like how I don’t go around saying that I like watching ‘The Walking Dead’ or listening to ‘Pentatonix’ the first time I meet someone. It just happens naturally through conversations like ‘So what do you like to watch?’ or ‘I don’t like Pentatonix’ to which I’d reply ‘I love watching this TV series called “The Walking Dead”!!’ and ‘What!!! I love Pentatonix they are so epic!’.
The most important thing is knowing God’s love first and foremost in every opportunity if possible. If I was then asked if I approve of same sex marriage or transgender physical transformations/relationships, I would say that although I do not approve, does not mean that I value the person any less.
The first time my dear friend told me he was going to under go hormone therapy, I ended up crying and being super depressed for 2 days! Not because he was undergoing this… but how was I supposed to tell him I did not approve without hurting him (who’s now a her). Thank God though I managed to say I could not support and he told me all he’s ever experienced in our friendship was love and it was alright. I was so thankful and so relieved that we could still be friends. Though I do not think that my friend knows the extent of my beliefs… but regardless… I hope some day all will be transparent and that I can tell my friend in the gentlest way possible God willing.
On a lighter note, here were the places we visited 🙂 9/11 memorial – Ground Zero
Catching a glimpse of the Statue of Liberty.
Amazing roads of New York
Lovely Christmas Tree near my friend’s place
Amazing dessert bakery place
Me and my dear friend ❤
New York High Line 😀
That’s all for now x