I woke up with a jolt at 3:47a.m. My heart was thumping hard sending my body into shivers. Then I recalled what had happened.
A friend, who I met on a venture camp who guided me on a great deal of things, flashed vividly in my mind. I didn’t know how I knew what he was going through, but perhaps it could have been through a message I had heard or read. I imagined him at his work place and he was making mistakes. At times he would be rude to those he had to care about or dismissive. He told me when he reflected on it he felt guilty and knew he needed to apologise to God and reflect on the mistakes he had done. Then he moved on telling me that a mutual friend that we knew had died and when he found out he was very hurt (although this mutual friend is still alive outside of the dream). I seemed to have not been shocked that our mutual friend passed away so I assume I knew that she did.
When my vision began to fade I sensed someone walking by and I jolted half way up from a lying position. It was so bizarre because it was as though I woke up from a dream but in fact I was reflecting on what I knew. I realised I was wearing my sleeping clothes and was not willing to get up fully. The man who walked by held a book in his hand. It seemed to be a book about God. He saw me crying because I was feeling bad for my friend who talked about our mutual friend passing away. The setting was outdoors next to a canal, very dream appropriate.
He then began to read out of his book, which was supposed to be a verse out of the bible. When I heard it, I felt suspicious. Although it sounded like scripture it sounded tampered with. So I returned to my lying position.
The man approached me asking what was wrong. I gave him a snappy answer that didn’t fully answer his question to which I could not recall what I said. He sat down on my bed and kept asking me to tell him what was wrong. Every time I tried to explain he cut me off by asking the same question over and over until I became very annoyed. As I was becoming annoyed he grabbed my arm and his face changed into a very disturbing grin.
I suddenly realised what was about to happen and so I tried to break free from his grasp. I tried to punch him with my other hand but was not strong enough.
Then I woke up. It was dark. I looked over at my phone and saw the time. I walked over to turn on the light then flicked it back off fearing it may be noticed from the streets outside.
I went back into bed and couldn’t get the images of what I had seen out of my head. It wasn’t the scariest ‘rape’ dream I’ve had. However, it was my second. I find it so strange because it’s so rare for me to have frightening dreams.
I felt scared to go back to sleep because I did not want to see that man again. I prayed to God asking his Spirit to protect me, and whatever I had to face back in my sleep that even if those terrible things do happen that I will have confidence in His Spirit and His power. I played Jesus worship music to sleep, sounds a little extreme but it helped reassure my confidence in Him.
It was odd because I also prayed for that man who was insane. I know God loves me, but I know he loves that maniac as well, not the wrong things he does but him as His created being. Of course this is weird because it was all a dream, but if this man were to be real, God would still love him and with that in mind, I knew that my self protection could only get me so far, because God’s aim is not only just to protect me but to bring back His lost sheep. If I suffer and die, it’s not like I leave God’s protection, I enter His wonderful kingdom safe in His arms forever. But this man, who thinks only these things can satisfy him is the unfortunate one who needs God’s love.
I’m sure if this happened to me in reality, making that prayer would be near impossible without the help of His Spirit. I felt like I could have been traumatised even though he didn’t get a chance to continue, cut short by me waking up.