Beauty in a relationship

In my experience so far of dating my first ever Christian boyfriend has been really… just God given. Yes, a God given blessing. It’s funny because my boyfriend’s name is Theo short for Theodore, which has it’s origin in Greek and holds the meaning gift of God. He really is my gift from God 🙂

However there are some areas to which I’d like to address and just write about. These are just a few thoughts that have been running through my mind.

  • Boundaries
  • Priorities
  • The Love Language
  • Facebook
  • Sharing with my close friends

Immediately the day after we started going out, I FaceTimed my parents in the morning. I really was so happy to share with them God’s amazing gift to me and exactly what went down and the whole process of how he confessed and after. It’s really sweet and funny of my Dad to be talking about boundaries. Well that’s what Dads are for! It kind of reminds me the first boyfriend I’ve ever had and how my Dad gave me the sex talk. Anyway, it’s really loving of my Dad to remind me once more about boundaries and this time my Dad included priorities, which I believe he was getting at God.

So I like kissing my boyfriend. What girl would admit otherwise to herself? Well at least I wouldn’t know. I like hugging him and I like the way he holds my hand. I like the way he never gets enough of complimenting practically everything about me, which I don’t get but I’m still so happy! But as he has mentioned though, it’s not the looks he fell for but my relationship with God and how I desire for Him. Yes I do desire for Him! In fact oddly enough, the more time I spend with my boyfriend I praise God even more and look to Him. It’s funny because when I think about Theo – which is like almost every waking second – it directs me to think of God and to seek His Spirit to guide me in what’s right because I definitely want to love my boyfriend in the way God wants me to, which is to be unselfish and serving. I still have to pray hard to not have my thoughts lead me astray!

This kind of leads to the 5 love languages that my friends and pastor Rodger have shared with me. This really excited me because I really want to love the way God wants me to love, not just my boyfriend but towards everyone. I realised this after my last unofficial relationship and so I am determined to not disappoint God! Another useful tip that I learned was that Rodger told me it’s good to set straight values and some guidelines but it is important not to plan everything and have fun! So I am really happy about that 🙂

On the day we started going out, I asked permission if it was alright if we had our relationship status public. Theo seemed to be alright with it and I was really happy because I really wanted to get it out there for 2 main reasons – I’m off the market – guys be mindful I’m not available and secondly I’m in a serious relationship and I am proud and confident enough that our relationship should last at least for quite a while. (I’m hoping a few years at the least and if we part it would be God’s will not that we would be unfaithful).

However my flatmate shared her opinion of sharing relationship on facebook and said there isn’t really much point because it isn’t anyone’s business. True, but I thought that a relationship should be outward and not inward. My intention isn’t to get attention but to share and hopefully shed some light on what God’s love is like. But I didn’t disregard her comment and so I told my boyfriend instead of saying who I’m going out with, I’d just put I’m simply in a relationship.

Is it easy for me to avoid checking the likes? Sometimes I’m tempted I suppose to look for not the best of reasons in mind but I actually haven’t gotten round to it yet because I don’t think it’s really important. I’m just glad I have it out there and my friends would ask me. I don’t like being initiative in sharing with people something I’m super excited about unless they are my super close friends. But even if they are my good friends, I still wouldn’t be as eager to share if they are not eager to know about it.

That leads me finally to my last bullet point. Sharing with my friends. Today I shared with my friends how Theo and I started dating. I’m really glad that they found it sweet when we prayed for each other and one friend even asked what we prayed about and how come we were not praying in church! I told her that technically you can pray anywhere and we gave thanks and other things, but I should also have added that we prayed to trust in God and that generally we prayed to love each other as God would want us to love that is faithfully and as well as to love Him too.

I really hope that my friends can see that without God, relationships are easily broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:12

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

A lot of my friends… really idolise having a boyfriend and in a way, this implicitly means that only through a partner you can be saved. Saved from suffering, to be sheltered. However, it really isn’t the case and I had to learn the hard way. I realised that Jesus is our saviour and because I used to idolise having a boyfriend as everything and the only thing, I empathise with them and just only hope for them to see the hope in Jesus Christ.


2 thoughts on “Beauty in a relationship

  1. Dearest Hilda
    I am really really so happy for both you and Theo. ..To have found each other in the way u both did. ..It must really be God’s sent blessing a million million times over! I will always pray for you and Theo. May God bless you both abundantly and always. Love

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