It’s been too crazy. Bittersweet more like. Hardships and blessings.
I had my crit on Friday. My tutors were there, 2 other people they knew and the head of year 2 and 3. It was… not really a shocker. I knew I did not have enough work.. so that wasn’t the part that made me cry. It was more because my own tutor said that I hadn’t improved and that I was not good enough. That tutor later on went to ask the head tutor if my work was passing boundary or not. The head tutor said it was inappropriate to discuss. I suppose it was a given because she’s part of the examining board and there were students in front – they wouldn’t want us to not try anymore if we knew the passing boundaries.
Anyway, my tutor went on to say that my work was thought to be below average. Of course he asked me what he could do to help, which made things slightly better since there’s some indication of him caring.
Some time after that (near the end of me explaining my first project), I started to cry. But I really wanted to push through to the second project so I luckily managed to.
A few days back, a third year friend and I ended up discussing about tutors in general. I discovered that I wasn’t alone. That some tutors would be really sarcastic and would not help. However, if you do bring and show stuff, they would be able to help you with ideas. Most of them though, would rather you push your ideas forward. Most of the time they would say yes or no.
I guess I’m just struggling with the concept myself. But I thought the head of year tutor was much more helpful because at least I was given some direction. I’m not asking to spoon feed all my ideas but at least some direction or focus. Not ‘I don’t know how to help you’. But well, that doesn’t matter too much anymore, since I feel like I can only help myself. The best way is probably consult my own peers… and my tutors would just be there to say yes or no. My unit mates were really sweet about what happened. My really good friend bought me coffee and another friend comforted me by giving me a long talk. The act itself was much appreciated though.
Anyway, I was really glad I decided to sleep for 6 hours the previous night before crit because later on that night I had a karaoke birthday party Christmas celebration. Lots of layers!
I met a lot of my friends whom I haven’t seen in ages. I was really glad. Had a great time at karaoke. After that, it was quite spontaneous because my friend really urged me to come over to his flat because he wanted to show me his hamster. haha! I was quite tired and just wanted to go home. However the birthday girl wanted to see it too. So it ended up being us and another guy going as well. It was sooo cute though 😀
I finally arrived home at night around 1:30am. But I was happy with the conversations and thankful for the people I’ve met!
On Saturday, I was feeling pretty nervous because I was having some course-mate friends coming over for lunch. I invited them just as a end of term lunch at my flat. I’ve always wanted to host something like this and after watching this
It was really encouraging! I really had to pray about the day because I wanted to be as welcoming as I possibly can and to grow closer to my friends. I was terrified the lasagna would not have tasted good but I’m glad in the end it was fine! We sang carols and a whole load of songs as well, which was fun 🙂
haha the last piece!
Later I’m having carols tonight and I really hope it would be good and my friends would enjoy it!
It’s all in God’s hands now!