Arghh noooooo!

Not another road block. Seriously, what’s up with all these obstacles?! First was contradictions in the bible, second was Islam and now.. it’s free will and determinism?!

I’m stuck. The supposedly Christian claim I think is that although God has a plan, he gives us free will. But this ‘free will’ somehow is not exactly ‘free’ from our genes and upbringing. There is a cause behind it whether it be hormones or because someone influences you. 

I think for me the fact that free will and God’s plan co-existing is not my issue. My issue is about prayer. Why should we pray for something (e.g. pray my friend heals) if God has already determined the course? God can choose to intervene if we pray or don’t, just as much as he can decide not to intervene. 

But the thing is looking back at Moses, God wanted to burn those who went off worshipping the golden calf. However, Moses pleaded with God not to and He didn’t. So what does this mean? Was He testing Moses? 

What is the meaning of prayer? (And I don’t mean the giving thanks part).

For the moment, I don’t have enough knowledge of the idea of ‘praying’ to God and how our free will and his plan works. I know some scripture quotes but nothing in depth so I cannot come to any conclusion. 

My roommate and I went into this crazy discussion… and it’s really difficult to talk about this free will and determinism thing! But what I’m really getting at is what does this mean for our relationship with God? I think that if God is as almighty as He says He is, the free will and God’s plan co-existing is not an issue. My issue is what kind of a relationship would it be if I just pray to God, He listens but is not affected by it and does whatever… if that makes sense. The whole crux of Christianity is our relationship with God and if something seems fishy about the whole thing… then I’m really not satisfied. 

I feel like my question can only be answered in the bible. Many have tried to get a go at this … and … some people might not think of it as a big issue in terms of their faith but as for me, I want to take this aspect seriously. It’s one of those road blocks that constantly persists to nag at the back of my mind wherever I go. I still believe in God, Jesus, but am frustrated that I am shaken. 

God right now is my identity, I know where my security is… not because it ‘can be’ comforting or I ‘hope it to be’ comforting… rather it is the truth.

But if I realise something isn’t right about this equation, then I really have to confront my beliefs and re-examine them. I want to know the truth. 

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4 thoughts on “Arghh noooooo!

  1. Dearest Hilda
    It is completely Ok to question in the way you did. And you surely did pen this nagging and discomforting thorn in your Christian belief extremely well. Daddy too has such thoughts but was never able to articulate and express this as well as you did. God and Jesus has become daddy’s security and comfort because of what God is. .Love. I guess we will never know if our prayers will ever affect God’s plan and the free will he gives us. When daddy try to think in those terms, and mind you I have done this numerous times, it always comes back to a blank. The old testament did provide some indication of events where God’s action s was affected by his people. Daddy is sure that you will not disagree with this. Examples include Moses, Jobs, David, just to name a few. Even up to this day, Jesus continues to speak to his chosen people/ representative to pray for many different causes. To Daddy, I think this means that God encourage us to continue to pray and never give up no matter what, I guess somehow in ways that are beyond the human mind, prayers do help somehow. Maybe it may be good if you could approach Nicky Gumbel with this. Just an idea. Daddy would like to know his response to this issue too. Love you much. And keep up with your faith.

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