It’s the end of the second week.
1. Emphasize and demonstrate a fruit of the Spirit more for each month of the year.
Miru’s friend stayed over at our place for one night. I don’t know why, but I’m surprised that I was able to ask her how her visit was. I guess before her arrival, she would be just someone staying at our place for one night, just borrowing our space. But I’m glad that I managed to ask about her stay, to show interest.
Yay! I’m so happy that our quiet flatmate is being more engaged with the rest of us living in the flat. I remember a couple of days ago I asked him if he’s a student at UCL. We had a little talk. When Miru came back, he engaged in conversation with her! Oh gosh, don’t know why that makes me so happy haha. My prayer came true, finally. I prayed to God that we can be able to talk to each other more. But seriously, he can be so quiet or used to anyways.
Working at the Cafe
I think I should be more engaged with my cafe mates. I feel like I’m just there to help but not really get to know my mates better… and I should especially because they are in the same pastorate as I am. I really pray that I would get closer to my pastorate, to be grounded in my fellowship.
A sick friend
So the last 2 days have been really weird. Miru prayed to show compassion like before she slept at 3:45a.m. I slept quite early like around 11pm but Miru told me after I woke I seemed to be tossing and turning a lot. Though, I was in deep sleep and did not recall waking up. Before I woke up, I was having a dream mainly about this friend of mine. Then I heard vibration sounds. It was my phone. I wanted to ignore it. I thought hm who would call me late at this hour none other than that friend? If it doesn’t vibrate a second time, I’ll call him back tomorrow. And the phone vibrated again. I got up and wow it was the friend I was dreaming of…. to be honest I think I would have turned it off but for some crazy reason, I accidentally pressed pick up. Oh shoot. I thought. Now I’ve woken Miru up. So I left the room and said to my friend:
Why the frick did you call? (Not really good demonstration of gentleness but…)
He said he was sick and he was sorry to trouble me so late at night but he needed medicine. Of course this late there’s no store available so I said okay I’m coming over.
I told Miru I was going over to my friends place and she said she was coming too. She said wow just when I prayed to God for a chance to show compassion. Because she found my friend slightly annoying.
I can’t believe it was actually 4a.m. I was also really shocked that I managed to get up because I don’t wake up from phone vibrations. Something pretty loud has to wake me up since I’m a heavy sleeper.
Anyway, we went over and visited my friend. I gave him the medicine and made him some ginger soup. Miru accompanied him while I cooked. I told him that he should just rest well and some other polite words and Miru and I both left.
Gosh that night, there were a few things running through my mind. This friend of mine, he’s like one of my closest friends. I care a lot about him but we’re at the stage where we are so comfortable with each other like awkward silences don’t exist and we literally can talk about everything. But that also makes room for taking things for granted and preconceived notions of each other. By preconceived notions I mean either looking down on each other in certain aspects or thinking this is the way they are and will always be. I do mean to say this on both sides, I am definitely guilty of this. Just… I don’t know if he realizes it as well.
Thing was, when Miru and I were there with him, there were some things that he questioned about the medicine. Honestly if I was alone with him I would have done a poor job in answering, but Miru spoke with authority. I didn’t realise it then but I realised it as we were walking back home… that I was jealous and envied Miru. Wow it hurts and makes me feel like *ugh!* when I think about it. Well of course it’s normal to feel those things but usually they come about with comparing oneself with another. I don’t usually do this (only arises in more competitive areas such as art or dancing etc.). So that’s why I felt so bad because I was being so selfish. If I didn’t have the Holy Spirit with me, I wouldn’t have had the self control. So I guess it was like an internal battle within me. It’s hard to explain but I realised in hindsight how dangerous it was. There was so much mixed emotions that night.
Why it is dangerous for me, is because when I look at how ‘bad’ I am in comparison to Miru I really start to not only become frustrated but it comes out as a form of self attention seeking. There’s the temptation to focus on myself and make myself the ‘victim’ when I’m not. When I realised that, I thought wow I don’t want to sink that low.
I really felt however, that God was looking out for me.
2. Attempt to get rid of all your idols (image and food)
Eh… well… please refer to number 4 🙂 This is still really challenging. Perhaps I have glanced in the mirror a few times haha guilty but not so much really. Hm, it’s difficult to keep track of this to be honest. I think I just really need to do something drastic. Though I have been eating until I’m satisfied and haven’t eaten till I’ve been bloated so it’s all okay. Hmm okay my next step is researching on how to rid of idols. Miru has a book on that I might just take it…….. and return it of course ahah. Hm asking would be a good idea XD
3. Read the bible every day
BIOY yay! God’s amazing. He continues to speak to me through there as well! Just like last year’s crazy events.
4. Dedicate one hour a week specifically for God
11/01/2014 around 8-9pm. I went through the worship book and read a little bit of the bible.
And I decided to take it up a notch. I went on my first proper fast on 14/01!
Please read: http://www.atotheword.com/2012/01/29/how-to-fast/
Wow it was crazy. It was the first day that I literally focused so much on God. The most productive session ever. I did a lot of praying for things, worship and reading of the Word.
8. Run at least once a week
Jogged: 08/01 + 10/01
4Km each time I’m so happy!