I am so SLEEEEPY. Right now. I think it’s because of sugar crash. Yup. Recently I’ve been like eating loads and loads PURE SUGAR. Yeah, this probably accounts for the weird RANDOM capital letters I am typing today. Slightly HYPER yet mentally drained. Doesn’t make sense I KNOW [felt like putting all caps for the ‘know’ — yeah I’m definitely not thinking straight]
Anyways, I still want to do this because I’ve just realised it’s been more than a week since New Years! Gosh. And here I thought it was actually a week. So… how have I done so far with my New Years Resolution? Hmm let’s see shall we…
1. Emphasize and demonstrate a fruit of the Spirit more for each month of the year.
Parents — Almost blew it but it was okay. Sometimes I tend to be impatient and sort of rough with my parents… and it’s actually because I’m a bit too comfortable. I forget to be gentle and always forget that they don’t know what I’m thinking. Hah. Yeah, for some reason I have the tendency to think people should know what I’m thinking (at least those who are close to me) and from that stems absolute frustration on my side, which then affects my parents or those that I love with confusion and hurt. Or at least, it could eventually result in that if I’m not careful.
Homeless person 1 — A few days ago, I passed by a homeless person near Great Portland Station. I was thinking in my head you have the money so just give it! Sometimes, I would just continue walking, but this time I turned back. I gave the change that I had in my wallet. Gosh, I hate to admit it but I do find it uncomfortable and at times embarrassing to have to stop and fish out cash. I know not like the world’s going to end (pardon the dramatization) but I guess maybe it also has to do with the thoughts of what are they going to use this money for… will it really help them? So usually I give enough for a meal. Sigh… even when he said thank you, I did a sort of curt nod. Not trying to be rude or anything but it just seemed to end up that way! I don’t know… was I really that embarrassed? Hmm…
Someone showed love to me — Well this time, it wasn’t exactly me. But this sweet woman saw that I was sort of looking around for directions and although I knew I was near my destination, I accepted her help. It was really kind of her to offer directions because she actually walked me to where I wanted to go! (Yes it was that near, didn’t take more than 2 minutes)
Mooboo — Oh gosh, this is THE ULTIMATE… or like one of the ultimate tests actually other than the homeless people. I have to balance being friendly to customers and at the same time co-ordinate taking orders and making drinks. Because I’m new to this job, I focus more on hearing the orders and how to make the drinks because I don’t want to mess up. However, I must remember to be friendly towards them, even if it means making small talk, suggestions for good drinks, offering loyalty cards or even saying would you like to take a seat while waiting? would make all the difference. It’s all those small kind gestures to make customers feel welcomed. Well so far, it’s not so bad. I do sometimes forget to say thank you bye or have a nice day! but well, it’s working progress!
Homeless person 2 — Okay so this was at Mooboo. This guy came over and asked for spare change (which shocked me quite a bit). I thought he meant like change for like a 10 pound note or something, but he was actually asking for money. He said God bless though! My colleague and I went to get money. I was pretty glad that she was willing to give because after all she is Christian too. Thing was, when we gave him the money, he said God bless you, thank you for giving. Money — this material can really get a hold of us sometimes. And he went on saying that he managed to get chocolate from someone and something like you’ll never know and there was a hint of praising God in it as well, which touched my heart. I was thinking like — oh wow did God send this man here today? Hmm. Well he said if someone gave him a car, he wouldn’t be able to drive it, then he’d give it to us! haha quite random but he was a sweet man. He wanted to use the money to buy newspapers and then sell them.
2. Attempt to get rid of all your idols (image and food)
Oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh. Okay here comes the awkward part. This is so embarrassing and here I am talking about it. Well it’s one way to break the ice. I don’t like talking about body image and this blah stuff. It’s annoying and drives me crazy. I’m quite conflicted with how I see my body image. Um. Okay here it is — I always look at reflections of glass when I walk in the streets, pinch my fat and can stare at a full length mirror all day long… and not to mention if there’s a weighing scale stand on it like 10 times a day. Or more. I don’t know I’m lucky I don’t have one here in London.
Yeah so I have body issues, well a lot of girls do. YET I find it SO embarrassing. I would rather admit to kissing a girl than have people know I’m self conscious about this. Anyway, why is this so? It’s because never used to be self conscious about my weight. And now I do. Great. Well that’s another story for another time.
Anyway, this week…………. didn’t go……….. quite the way I hoped it to go. I did look at the mirror maybe a few times. Pinched a little (it’s actually unconscious sometimes…) Well yeah.
Okay and another thing, I really really really like to eat. Well food is awesome! Sometimes I can eat more than my fill. But well at least this week was okay. I’ve been eating not more than bloated, in fact I don’t really get bloated, which is great yay!
I still forget sometimes to pray before meals. Usually just give thanks to God, that the meal sustain me until whenever I need food, and to focus more on Him. But…… well ever since working at Mooboo gosh when it is time to bin cupcakes, I think it’s not a good idea to take them home haha! I literally made that my dinner and breakfast. Loads and loads of sugar ah! I don’t want to imagine. Wait what that actually happened, I just literally ate sugar. But luckily, I stop eating when I’m full so at least I didn’t eat all the cupcakes in one go.
But well there may be a little slip-ups here and there but over all at least I ate healthily other than some sugary bits of the week. I prepared home cooked meals and with plenty of vegetables.
I’m pretty glad I have work too… it does take my mind of eating and everything… but sometimes I get cravings. Like for cookies especially. Though I have to say I am a lot better. And to be honest it’s thanks to my illness in Paris that made my meals shrink. That makes it easier to control anyways.
I think I really need to write on why this whole issue on food and body image is so tricky, especially if you have God in mind. But well at least for now, I’ll end it here. It was a mediocre week for number 2.
3. Read the bible every day
I have been doing great for this! Everyday I read Nicky Gumbel’s Bible In One Year commentary and of course 3 sections of the bible (of which includes: Psalms/Proverbs; New Testament; followed by the Old Testament). Other than that, I also have been reading John and just started Acts. I’m slowly trying to read the New Testament. What I want to achieve is a thorough understanding of the whole bible. Though at times I must remember to make sure I’m listening to God and not just doing my own investigations. I have to say though, it is just such a crucial thing to kick-start the day. I love it.
4. Dedicate one hour a week specifically for God
01/01/2014 — 11:am
8. Run at least once a week
Gym: 03/01 + 04/01